Time: Approx. 1:30 pm
Setting: Room 208...after lunch read aloud
Characters: Me, a slightly befuddled teacher on a little too much DayQuil trying to get through the day
Budachris (rhymes with Ludacris), a kid who has just too much; too much energy, too much talking, too much moving, too much yelling, too much imagining, too much inattention, too much impulsivity-you get the picture.
Me (reading along as fast as my cold-fogged head can read)
Budachris: (in my ear) Ms A. I have to tell you something
Me (ignoring him and trying to focus on the words swimming in front of me)
Budachris: (in my ear a lot louder) Ms A. I have to tell you something important
Me: Not now
Budachris: (forgetting the pretense of trying not to be distracting) Ms A. It's an emergency about the fish
Me: What? (all reading has stopped now)
Budachris: The fish! It's about the fish.
Me: What? (again the DayQuil making me not as sharp as usual)
Budachris: Something is wrong with the fish!
Me: What is wrong with the fish?
Budachris: They stopped time!
Me: What?
Budachris: They were all swimming and then all of sudden they stopped. The stopped time!
Me: The fish didn't stop time.
Budachris: Yes! They did stop time. They froze it and then they all started it again.
Me: I don't think the fish have the power to control time.
Budachris: They do too!
Me: Ok...? Can we keep on reading?
Budachris: Yeah, I just wanted you to know.
Me: Ok...thanks?
Needless to say this whole encounter left me more befuddled and more confounded. I can also tell you who I am not putting next to the fish tank again when we move desks.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Big Plans
There is a very funny picture book called Big Plans by Bob Shea (illustrated by the guy who did the Stinky Cheese Man). In the book, the protagonist boy gets in sent to the corner and the whole time he is making BIG PLANS! That background to say that I have a 5th grader who is this boy to the letter. I will call him Big Plans because of his big plans. Every day he tells me some story about something that he is going to do and every time these plans are so extravagant and well...big. Today we were riding to Balboa Park and he was telling Budachris (a later story) about how they were going to go to Colorado for Christmas. Not only were they going to go to the snow but they weren't going to go in a car they were going to get a RV. In the past few weeks he has told me about how they (Budachris and him) were going scuba diving, not snorkeling, but diving to catch sharks with knives. They are going to move to Temecula to get a fresh start (apparently 10 is the age at which you need a fresh start). They are going to go to Hawaii and live with a long-lost relatives. They are going to refurbish a abandoned trailer and make it a clubhouse in which they can put their PSP and DS. They are going to move into a dorm room with one of their brothers and go to parties at State. You get the idea...these elaborate stories sometimes annoy me but I began thinking today that these plans may be the only thing that keep these boys going. The community that I work in is pretty hopeless and maybe I should embrace the hope instead of shaking my head in disbelief. Maybe next time I should say, "Tell me about these big plans". Hopefully one day, a lifetime away from now, I will come across Big Plans and he can tell me about how the made all of these things happen...I believe he will because after all he has BIG PLANS!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Ansisters
Calvin (A fifth grader): Ms. A. I think that ancestors are prejudice.
Me: Ok....(imagine bewildered expression)
Calvin: Yeah, because even boys are called ancestors.
Me: Well....(again bewildered) boys can be ancestors.
Calvin: I mean they should call them something else.
Me: Uhhhh...(you can tell I was adding a lot intellectually to this conversation)
Calvin: It's just not fair. They all them annnnsssssiiiissssttteeerrrsss and they should be called anbrothers too.
Me: Actually it's annnccccessssstttorrrr.
Calvin: Oh, nevermind.
Me: (nothing more to say besides shaking my head in amazement)
Ahhhh the joys of teaching second language learners.
Me: Ok....(imagine bewildered expression)
Calvin: Yeah, because even boys are called ancestors.
Me: Well....(again bewildered) boys can be ancestors.
Calvin: I mean they should call them something else.
Me: Uhhhh...(you can tell I was adding a lot intellectually to this conversation)
Calvin: It's just not fair. They all them annnnsssssiiiissssttteeerrrsss and they should be called anbrothers too.
Me: Actually it's annnccccessssstttorrrr.
Calvin: Oh, nevermind.
Me: (nothing more to say besides shaking my head in amazement)
Ahhhh the joys of teaching second language learners.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
You'll Say WOW Everytime
For this story to make sense you need to know three things.
1: My roommate, Catherine , has in the past-much to my amusment and entertainment-clogged the "in-sink-erator" (I know that is like a Dr. Doofenschmertz name for a garbage disposal but scout's honor that's its brand). She has only done it a few times but based on the amount I talk about it you would think it happened quite frequently.
2: We had an "As Seen On TV" Party at our house recently and there is currently a huge table full of As Seen On TV stuff in our garage.
3: Not too long ago, our landlords replaced our in-sink-erator with a new, top-of-the-residential line disposal. I literally quote, "It should be able to take care of anything you have".
Now fast forward a few weeks. My roommate was on the East Coast and I was holding down the fort. I found an amazing little market called North Park Market (you should go, it's on H street) and got a few huge pineapples. I happily peeled, cut, and ate pineapple. After finishing the cutting process I decide to have another go at propagating pineapples. I quite happily peeled the leaves of the pineapple and then decided to put them in the sink. I decided to take this new disposal for a test run. I guess it is fair to also tell you that ground up pineapple leaves have the consistency of a old dish rag. I think it is also fair to assume that you can guess what happened soon after the grinding ensued.
Of course, the other side of the sink starts to fill up with the bits of pineapple, strawberry tops, an orange peel, a few other unidentifiable pieces of previous vegetative matter. I don't panic yet, I being a well-rounded individual have a basic understanding of disposals and pipes. I know that you need to get the clog out and the hope that the clog is not so far in the wall you have to call some guy named Joe who likes to show his butt cleavage.
I open the doors and get the allen wrench. I turn this way and that..who knows what lefty or righty it needs but at this point I still fell confident that I will be able to unclog this sink and no one, including Catherine, will find out about it-this of course would lead to the end of my bit about Catherine and the disposal and I hate losing good material. After quite a bit of turning I try the water, try the grinder, try the hoping, try the mild cursing-no luck.
I decide the best idea is to empty the sink of water and try again. Some people may have thought that I scooped out the water. Those people would be a far sight more sensible than I. I thought the best way to empty the sink of water was to drain it from the bottom. I moved the various sundries from under the sink (not all of them mind you because again that would show some foresight) and started to unscrew the pipe on the left side of the sink. I underestimated a few things in this manuever; 1) the amount of water in the sink, 2) the comparative smallness of the pot that I found, 3) the amount of pressure that was pushing the water downwards, 4) the position of the L bend pipe, which made an amazing deflector for the aforementioned chunky water.
You can imagine my surprise the water didn't neatly fall into the pot like I had imagined but instead shot out (or more appropriately out and up) of the pipe all over me, the inside of the cabinet, all of the things I had left inside the cabinet, and the floor. So there I am sitting in a puddle of water with bits of pineapple in my hair. I undid every pipe under the sink and each time more water filled my already soggy kitchen. I couldn't get the blasted thing to work so I put all the pipes back together and decided that I would wait until Catherine got home and confess my sins. As I stood up, I noticed the drain plug. I plugged up the left side of the sink and turned on the disposal with a muttered prayer. Sure enough that wad of pineapple fiber shot through the pipes and into the ocean (you know all drains lead the to the ocean...Nemo fans?)
At that moment I felt a wave of triumph and then I looked around; I was covered in soggy clothes and had disposal gunk all over me, there was an inch of standing water in the cabinet, every thing under our sink was dripping and soaked, the floor was awash in water and bits of pineapple. My heart sunk....then I remembered the ShamWow in the garage! I gleefully ran out to the garage and got the brand spanking new felt-ish cloth and sure shootin' that ShamWow soaked up about a gallon of water. Again my life was flooded (pun definitely intended) with a sense of victory. Looking around at the mayhem that I had created I just smiled to myself and said "wow". It's true what the infomercial says, "You'll say WOW everytime."
1: My roommate, Catherine , has in the past-much to my amusment and entertainment-clogged the "in-sink-erator" (I know that is like a Dr. Doofenschmertz name for a garbage disposal but scout's honor that's its brand). She has only done it a few times but based on the amount I talk about it you would think it happened quite frequently.
2: We had an "As Seen On TV" Party at our house recently and there is currently a huge table full of As Seen On TV stuff in our garage.
3: Not too long ago, our landlords replaced our in-sink-erator with a new, top-of-the-residential line disposal. I literally quote, "It should be able to take care of anything you have".
Now fast forward a few weeks. My roommate was on the East Coast and I was holding down the fort. I found an amazing little market called North Park Market (you should go, it's on H street) and got a few huge pineapples. I happily peeled, cut, and ate pineapple. After finishing the cutting process I decide to have another go at propagating pineapples. I quite happily peeled the leaves of the pineapple and then decided to put them in the sink. I decided to take this new disposal for a test run. I guess it is fair to also tell you that ground up pineapple leaves have the consistency of a old dish rag. I think it is also fair to assume that you can guess what happened soon after the grinding ensued.
Of course, the other side of the sink starts to fill up with the bits of pineapple, strawberry tops, an orange peel, a few other unidentifiable pieces of previous vegetative matter. I don't panic yet, I being a well-rounded individual have a basic understanding of disposals and pipes. I know that you need to get the clog out and the hope that the clog is not so far in the wall you have to call some guy named Joe who likes to show his butt cleavage.
I open the doors and get the allen wrench. I turn this way and that..who knows what lefty or righty it needs but at this point I still fell confident that I will be able to unclog this sink and no one, including Catherine, will find out about it-this of course would lead to the end of my bit about Catherine and the disposal and I hate losing good material. After quite a bit of turning I try the water, try the grinder, try the hoping, try the mild cursing-no luck.
I decide the best idea is to empty the sink of water and try again. Some people may have thought that I scooped out the water. Those people would be a far sight more sensible than I. I thought the best way to empty the sink of water was to drain it from the bottom. I moved the various sundries from under the sink (not all of them mind you because again that would show some foresight) and started to unscrew the pipe on the left side of the sink. I underestimated a few things in this manuever; 1) the amount of water in the sink, 2) the comparative smallness of the pot that I found, 3) the amount of pressure that was pushing the water downwards, 4) the position of the L bend pipe, which made an amazing deflector for the aforementioned chunky water.
You can imagine my surprise the water didn't neatly fall into the pot like I had imagined but instead shot out (or more appropriately out and up) of the pipe all over me, the inside of the cabinet, all of the things I had left inside the cabinet, and the floor. So there I am sitting in a puddle of water with bits of pineapple in my hair. I undid every pipe under the sink and each time more water filled my already soggy kitchen. I couldn't get the blasted thing to work so I put all the pipes back together and decided that I would wait until Catherine got home and confess my sins. As I stood up, I noticed the drain plug. I plugged up the left side of the sink and turned on the disposal with a muttered prayer. Sure enough that wad of pineapple fiber shot through the pipes and into the ocean (you know all drains lead the to the ocean...Nemo fans?)
At that moment I felt a wave of triumph and then I looked around; I was covered in soggy clothes and had disposal gunk all over me, there was an inch of standing water in the cabinet, every thing under our sink was dripping and soaked, the floor was awash in water and bits of pineapple. My heart sunk....then I remembered the ShamWow in the garage! I gleefully ran out to the garage and got the brand spanking new felt-ish cloth and sure shootin' that ShamWow soaked up about a gallon of water. Again my life was flooded (pun definitely intended) with a sense of victory. Looking around at the mayhem that I had created I just smiled to myself and said "wow". It's true what the infomercial says, "You'll say WOW everytime."
Friday, October 2, 2009
Pineapple Express...not really
Catherine and I have started propagating pineapples and our first one is in the garden with two little "pups" coming off the sides. Pups are smaller suckers that can produce fruit so this is exciting. We will soon have pineapples to enjoy (in 2-4 years)! The first step is picking the perfect pineapple. It should have green leaves that are not easily pulled out. I should be a little on the under-ripe side. When you cut it cut right below where the crown meets the fruit. Pull off about 1 inch of leaves until you have a some bare stem. You should be able to see little nodules of roots beginning. The pineapple below is about 2 weeks old.
A closer view of the little roots just forming. When the roots are about 2 inches long you can plan them in a sandy soil and wait (and I literally mean wait) for the magic to happen.
We are currently using this little jar but only because it was in the clean dishes when I was looking for something to use. I have used cups with success. It's important that the stem is in the water but the leaves are above the water as they are prone to rotting. I change the water when it gets cloudy and smells funky.
Best of luck! Here are some more shots of the cute little pineapple plant :)
New growth inside the middle. This is where the stems will come with the flowers and eventually the fruit. YUM!
A closer view of the little roots just forming. When the roots are about 2 inches long you can plan them in a sandy soil and wait (and I literally mean wait) for the magic to happen.
We are currently using this little jar but only because it was in the clean dishes when I was looking for something to use. I have used cups with success. It's important that the stem is in the water but the leaves are above the water as they are prone to rotting. I change the water when it gets cloudy and smells funky.
Best of luck! Here are some more shots of the cute little pineapple plant :)
New growth inside the middle. This is where the stems will come with the flowers and eventually the fruit. YUM!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Kinder Treasures
I have some treasures from kindergarten that my students made. So I thought I would share them. This is me standing on a student...I also have fangs!
In this one my hair is really crazy and apparently I am going on a treasure hunt because X marks the spot.
This may not be of me at all but rather a family at a beach. My favorite part is the sun is saying "Go". Let this be an admonition to indeed GO...to where? no idea but at least go.
I am standing on the right side of the paper...next to a chair? I'm not sure.
Ms. A, is that a rainbow on your head? No, no just my hair.
Again with the crazy hair...it's like there is a pattern over time or something.
This is not me...It's Mario. I thought the kid had a cousin named Mario who was a plumber but then it all started to make sense when he talked about Luigi.
This is my favorite one. I am the circle person and I am holding hands with my friend Uh-uh from the earlier post. The sweetest gesture he made ever. I hung it on my desk and will continue do so to remind me that the kids who are the most difficult need the most love and patience.
In this one my hair is really crazy and apparently I am going on a treasure hunt because X marks the spot.
This may not be of me at all but rather a family at a beach. My favorite part is the sun is saying "Go". Let this be an admonition to indeed GO...to where? no idea but at least go.
I am standing on the right side of the paper...next to a chair? I'm not sure.
Ms. A, is that a rainbow on your head? No, no just my hair.
Again with the crazy hair...it's like there is a pattern over time or something.
This is not me...It's Mario. I thought the kid had a cousin named Mario who was a plumber but then it all started to make sense when he talked about Luigi.
This is my favorite one. I am the circle person and I am holding hands with my friend Uh-uh from the earlier post. The sweetest gesture he made ever. I hung it on my desk and will continue do so to remind me that the kids who are the most difficult need the most love and patience.
Easy Come, Easy Go
My life has been so full of transition that I was waiting until I was absolutely positive to post a new message. I haven't taught kindergarten in a while and to that I can only say, "Thank God Almighty I am free at last". So apparently if you start something with full blown optimism and somewhere deep down you know that the situation is a train wreck waiting to happen then there is quite a bit of relief when it ends abruptly. So that sums up kinder for me ....optimism, screaming, train wreck, relief. I have done a lot of crazy things in my life but kinder is by far the craziest thing that I tried. For the most part, the kids were cute, funny, interesting and endearing. Then there were the kids who make hairs gray, sighs weary and days long. We will call them No and Uh-uh. Literally all they did everyday was say No and Uh-uh...of course that's when they weren't crying, throwing, or trying to escape. It was ridiculous! It seems as though according to the other kinders I won the lucky honor of having "The class". You know the class that starts in kinder and strikes fear into the hearts of the next years teachers. So needless to say I was elated when they had to close a class due to enrollment.
This leads us to what I have been doing for the last two weeks. I gave the WRAP and Express Placement (lame-o assessments) to all the kinders (about 90 kids in all) and then gave it 30 more times in Spanish. Apparently I have mad skills. That pretty much took a whole week. I also had the privileged of doing lunch and recess duty. There is nothing more uplifting then yelling at kids you don't know for a solid hour about rules you think are ridiculous and that suck the fun out of being a kid. Because our school has uniforms, 80 percent hispanic kids, and an excessive amount of hair gel being used it's extremely difficult to yell at kids using descriptors...ie Hey you kid! Stop that! No not you the kid in the white shirt (they are all wearing white shirts), Yeah you with the black hair (they all have black hair) and the faux hawk (most have faux hawks) STOP!
For the past week I have been the lunch monitor/recess lady and teaching computer lab. Let me tell you there is nothing to instill your place as the coolest teacher at school then to be related to the computer lab. On Tuesday, I found out that I will be teaching 5th grade starting on Monday. I am really excited about it. I have been working in the class and they are delightful kids...there are enough "High Fliers" to keep it lively but not so many that is overwhelming. I am excited to take over and get all my stuff in the class. The teacher who is there is transferring to a different school and is working on getting her stuff out so I am kind of in limbo. I will have a lot of work to do this weekend but am really quite excited! I'm not sure if it will be more exciting to teach 5th grade or to not be in kindergarten...only time will tell.
This leads us to what I have been doing for the last two weeks. I gave the WRAP and Express Placement (lame-o assessments) to all the kinders (about 90 kids in all) and then gave it 30 more times in Spanish. Apparently I have mad skills. That pretty much took a whole week. I also had the privileged of doing lunch and recess duty. There is nothing more uplifting then yelling at kids you don't know for a solid hour about rules you think are ridiculous and that suck the fun out of being a kid. Because our school has uniforms, 80 percent hispanic kids, and an excessive amount of hair gel being used it's extremely difficult to yell at kids using descriptors...ie Hey you kid! Stop that! No not you the kid in the white shirt (they are all wearing white shirts), Yeah you with the black hair (they all have black hair) and the faux hawk (most have faux hawks) STOP!
For the past week I have been the lunch monitor/recess lady and teaching computer lab. Let me tell you there is nothing to instill your place as the coolest teacher at school then to be related to the computer lab. On Tuesday, I found out that I will be teaching 5th grade starting on Monday. I am really excited about it. I have been working in the class and they are delightful kids...there are enough "High Fliers" to keep it lively but not so many that is overwhelming. I am excited to take over and get all my stuff in the class. The teacher who is there is transferring to a different school and is working on getting her stuff out so I am kind of in limbo. I will have a lot of work to do this weekend but am really quite excited! I'm not sure if it will be more exciting to teach 5th grade or to not be in kindergarten...only time will tell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)