The Ugly Brown Sweater

Seinfeld makes a reference to having the perfect shirt and his "golden boy" shirt is the one he likes the best, wears first, and is always in rotation. This is a post in homage to my "golden boy" sweater, also known fondly as The Ugly Brown Sweater!

Have you ever had a perfect piece of clothing? One that you just love to wear? I have the perfect sweater. It's sleeves are just the right length. When it comes out of the dryer the cuffs are the perfect width and when I push them up they stay up. It's weight is perfect. It's texture is perfect. The way it feels on a brisk morning, rainy afternoon, or chilly evening is perfect. The size of the knit is perfect, not so dense that it's too heavy but also not so loose that it catches on things. The way it feels when I put it on is cozy and comfortable. It has a v-neck which I love! Some of my fondest memories were made while I was wearing this sweater. About 4 years of my life have been lived in this sweater. In essence, this is the one thing that I feel most comfortable in and if I could wear it all day, every day I would. If I could change only one thing about it I would change the color...it unfortunately was the color of baby poo. I say "was" because this sweater has been through the literal wringer and with so much love it has been every color from Hershey squirts to day-after-Pepto-black-poop to newborn diarrhea yellow.

Here is a little pictoral timeline through the colors and styles of The Ugly Brown(ish) Sweater. Enjoy!

The Early Days:

Enjoying the desert flowers with a milk chocolate sweater to ward off the mountain breezes.

At the tide pools and trying unsuccessfully to look intelligent,
not to worry though The Sweater is saving me from unpleasant seawater.

With a sweet friend in a poop brown sweater, luckily she rocks the outdooor chic much better.

Transitional Stage:

This is really the height of the ugly brown color

By the time this picture was, I have loved it so much that it has faded into a light khaki.

Mid-Life Crisis:

Don't worry! I dyed it brown again.

The brown stayed for about a year and then started to fade again.

The Dark Ages:

About a year later, I dyed it black for a change.
My students were amazed that I had two ugly sweaters in different colors....fifth graders a awesome fashion critics.

By this time this picture was taken, the black had faded mostly, expect out of the sleeves and the bottom.
This picture was about a year ago, after that The Sweater took a turn for the worse, it had begun to fade rapidly and not in an even pattern. It turned into a horrible striped pattern between khaki poop, poop, and dark poop. It was at this point my friends had an intervention, their bottom line was that I could no longer wear it in public but they also wouldn't purposely try to assassinate it (I think there was a foul plot afoot involving an accident and a sharp pair of scissors).

An Oldie but a Goldie:

In a last ditch effort to save the love of my life I used Rit Dye Remover and it turned into this odd color. I was expecting it to go back to brown but instead it changed to what I like to call "Prairie Meadow Gold" but what is now know to most as The Ugly Yellow Sweater.