Field Trips

Things to remember when going on a field trip:
-Your driver's license...especially if you are driving
-If a kid is absent you should recognize that fact before getting to the destination
-If a new kid is coming find out EXACTLY how to spell her name before putting in on a million and one things
-If previously mentioned new kid is starting on the first day we've had a field trip all year then maybe you should ask her mom if she has accidents often
-If aforementioned new kid pees her weight in urine on the field trip then it might be good to have spare clothes or a mop or a shamwow
-Sunbutter (peanut butter made out of sunflowers) is no substitute for peanut butter
-Do not carry even one kid's jacket or you will become the pack mule/coat rack for the rest of the day
-If you are the one setting the meeting time and place maybe you should have a map and a watch...eventually you may need one or the other
-When you go down stairs eventually you will have to walk up them again and usually when you are late to the meeting place
-If there is a switch, a flip, a pipe, a handle, a lever, a wheel, a toggle, a pedal, a knob then every single one of my 19 kiddos will touch, jiggle, shake, and bang it until it moves somehow or they are distracted by the next doodad
-Before listening to a playlist on the way home you should make sure the explicit songs are not included
-Always volunteer to carry the lunch basket on the way home...when it is empty
-If the butterflies are mating when you leave and still mating when you get back maybe you should cut down on the Viagra tablets you are crushing into the sugar water
-After all is said and done if a kid looks adoringly up at you and says, "Ms. A. you are the best teacher in the whole world and this was the best field trip ever!" then all the paperwork, lectures from the principal, and calling in favors is worth it